I’ve never really been a big fan of having my picture taken. In the past I have been on of those girls that runs from the camera (which just makes people bug you about it more) and have only really ever showcased photos of myself from the angle that i have mastered that makes me look my best. When i do get stuck in the crossfire of a camera toting friend or family member and I accept that there is no escape I ham it up and don’t take it seriously. Its a defenise mechanism, if i’m being a dork its ok for it to not be an attractive photo, but if I were to actually try and look good and fail at that attempt then thats when things get embarassing. This is stupid, and has been one of the more silly things I have done in my life. People are usually much harder on themselves when they see photos of themselves then anyone else looking at the photo ever would be, and its time I got over it.
I was brainstorming and taping my Curvy TV Show for The Curve Network this past weekend, which will air Tuesday September 8th at 8PM EST, and got on a kick about conidence and decided to play it up to the extreme and do things I wouldn’t normally do. One of the things I spoke about was “Skinny Fantasies” and how you shouldn’t really have them, they should be YOUR LIFE, and decided to put myself out there and do the one thing I’ve ever let my weight hinder me from doing and decided to have some scantly clad photos taken. I’m lucky enough the Nightrider is a photographer and was willing to help me with my sexy photo shoot and we picked out some outfits and hit the bedroom for some photo time.
This is probably one of the best things I have ever done to liberate myself. I have never felt as sexy as I did while shooting those photos. I was popping my booty out, showcasing the girls to their best extent, making my sexy model faces and “smiling with my eyes” as Tyra would say and had a blast doing it. After we were done shooting I sat down to go through the photos and do some minor editing (brightness and such) and to my disbelief I didn’t sit their and pick myself apart. Sure some of the photos weren’t my best angles or maybe weren’t the cream of the crop but I could still see the beauty in them and for the first time ever could see myself the way i know Nightrider must see me. It was a great feeling and totally worth it. By taking my clothes off (not all of them!) it helped me to shed any last bit of self hate I had left and hopefully can set the path for others by what I did. Now I’m not saying we should all get down to our undies and take photos but maybe we should just allow ourselves to be photographed more often, to look at pictures of ourselves with less criticism and to see ourselves as the people that love us see us!
Here is a shot that i took that is showing a little to much areola for the webshow on Tuesday but is one that I am proud of and wanted to share with you!
To see more photos from my shoot check out My Lipstick On Her Collar CurvyTV show this Tuesday at 8PM & 11PM EST!
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